Cars That Don't Suck - BMW 5-Series

I was watching the latest episode of my favorite (favourite, because I'm culturally sensitive) show, Top Gear UK, and I was inspired. I've never understood why it is people buy brand new cars. Everyone is familiar with the old adage "Your new car loses value the second you drive it off the lot." The thing is, this is very true. According to some very interesting statistics I've spent little to no time investigating, your car can depreciate up to 18% IMMEDIATELY! With that, I've decided to start up a recurring feature - "Cars That Don't Suck." In this feature I will pick a popular crappy excuse for a new car, and contrast it with some awesomeness that you can get on the secondhand market for the same price. You never expected it did you? Sound consumer advice. Absolutely.

To begin with I've selected one of the two horrors I mentioned in my last post... the Toyota Camry. I've done a simple search on Cars.com for brand new Camry's in my area and I've nearly had to shut this blog down before I even started due to a near fit of cardiac arrest. Prices for the middle of the line Camry SE are between $25,000 and $34,000 (holy f***) depending on options.

What I've done is select a car that doesn't suck but is comparable in size and purpose so people can't get on my case about stupid things like "well a Camry has a trunk... that Testarossa doesn't" In my mind, potato, potahto, but I am trying to do a service here.

I've chosen the legendary BMW 5-Series as my contender. A beautifully executed executive saloon that can literally run circles around a Camry while the driver luxuriates in premium leather, woodgrain, and a slew of amenities Toyota owners never even knew existed. To show that this isn't even a hard choice, I've picked a model from Cars.com right that is right in the middle of our price range....



This is a beautiful 2008 BMW 535i with 32,584 miles on it. IT LOOKS BRAND NEW!! I know what all you Camryists are thinking, "it's not brand new! its 3 years old!" but from a mechanical standpoint 32, 584 miles on a BMW engine can be considered just warming up. (And to be totally honest, I don't really care what you guys think, you lot are a lost cause.) In addition, you get the Premium Package, Sport Package, AND Cold Weather Package. This all includes a Navigation system, heated front seats, adaptive Xenon headlights, power rear sunshade, 18in alloys, SEATS THAT MEMORIZE WHERE U BEEN SITTING AND CHANGE FOR THE DRIVER!

To be honest the list goes on and on and on and on. The price for this wonderful piece of automotive wonderfulness? $27,998. The best part is, you can drive this car for a few years and not loose anywhere near as much as you would on a new car. Oh and keep in mind this was on the lower end of the price range! If you were so adventurous you could have a top of the line, $95,000 M5 for around this price. Yea it will be a little older and have a few more miles and you might spend a little more money, but hey, you will own an M5 (one of the greatest 4 door saloons ever made.)

So here's the advice, if you are looking at a Camry, stop. Save some money, and buy a BMW. You'll move from sucking at life to basking in the knowledge that you have taken life by the throat, and made it your bitch.

IA, out.


photo courtesy: www.donohooauto.com